It has come to my attention that you & I have not crossed paths in at least two weeks. I realize that you may find this somewhat disturbing and unacceptable.
Please know that I do plan to rectify the situation immediately. While my downward facing dog is surely to be abysmal, you can be rest assured that my eagle pose is, as always, nothing short of impressive.
I do hope to not have to write such a letter again, I appreciate your patience in this matter.